We are living in a remarkable time.  If you are anxious about it, one thing to remember is that everyone else is too, in their own way.  It’s a normal response.

We all  have our own things to work on.  There are a few things I think about when I know anxiety is heightened.  I would share them with you.  Perhaps some will be helpful.

How you feel isn’t necessarily a good indicator of how you are functioning.  You might feel like a mess.  At the same time, folks could see you as a source of stability and direction.

If you took a look around I’m sure you will see examples of how feeling good can provide a temporary solution while creating long term problems.  Perhaps that’s a consolation; perhaps it isn’t.  Regardless of how we feel, there are things we can try to keep our focus on.

“Gathering Information”  I often repeat this mantra to myself.  Can I begin to start gathering good, reliable information about the situation at hand?  Can I distinguish my thoughts from my feelings?  Can I separate what I know from what I assume?  Can I look critically at my own assumptions?

Intensity can get in the way of that.  I know.  I’m a passionate guy.  It has its pluses and minuses.

Let’s say you and I were looking at the world through our own telescopes, which we are.  Pick one thing.  Focus in on it.  What just happened to the rest of the picture we saw?

We tend to think passion is superior to disinterest.  When we are upset, we tend to see the world in a way which justifies the upset.  Unchecked anxiety complicates solving a problem as much as indifference does.

“Curious Interest”  This is a principle that serves me well, if I can remember where I put it.  Can we approach things more from a point of curiosity?  Can we discuss them from that place?

Intensity in our conversation often keeps our conversations from reaching the full audience.  I like people who can get to a place of observation.  It has a calming effect and helps me think.

“Connecting with Family”  In the line of thinking I have chosen to follow, staying connected to, and working on our functioning in our family of origin is the best long term way to help process anxiety.  In anxious times I touch base with my parents and sisters.  I focus on keeping the conversation balanced.  I may or may not talk about what is bothering me.

Anxiety is like nuclear fusion.  Once started it feeds itself.  Talking about being anxious is self-replicating.

“Energy.”  A more benign way to think about anxiety would simply be in terms of energy.  It’s the energy that gets us out of bed in the morning, drives towards our goals, through the adversity that befalls us, and drives us to create.  If we are overcharged, it can keep us from those things.

I once heard anxiety described like a cow getting zapped by an electric fence.  Energy is transmitted to the cow, who lifts her head and bawls, and the rest of the herd is instinctively anxious though they weren’t zapped at all.  One thing we can chose to focus on then, is the anxiety we transmit to others.

“Managing Myself”  Do I need to bawl every time I get zapped?  What’s my typical reaction been in this situation?  Can I hang in there a little longer without reacting?  Can I lower my volume?  Can I redirect that energy?  Can I do a better job of not getting zapped?

Pick one goal, a little one, and work on it.  It could be less use of the f-word.  Personally, I like the word, so I generally pick to work on something else.

In all likelihood when we are upset, we probably phone the friend or family member most likely to feel our pain.  We’re right.  They do, just like the herdmates of the zapped cow.  What do you think we ought to do about that?

Is that conversation productive?  Are we simply the reinforcing whatever we are feeling and passing anxiety to someone who has enough of their own?  Reinforcing an emotion is like being lost in the woods and discovering we used the day’s energy to wind up back at the same tree we were at yesterday.

Can we move from talking to someone who “will feel our pain” to someone that will stay objective and help us think?

“Being Present and Accounted For.”  Shannon and I maintain two different houses.  We’ve talked about where she wants to be if we are stuck in them for awhile.  We’ve talked about how we would handle being without a job.  I ask her how she is doing.  I tell her where I am at.

We find plenty of time to still drop in a rut or two and plenty of time to get our asses back out.  It has led to some good thinking.  She was the driving force that got my ass off the farm to stock my notoriously empty fridge.

So how do I keep staying present and accounted for?   How do I want to manage myself?  Can I use the energy of the situation to move forward?  Am I connected to my family and working on my functioning?  Can I look at the scene ahead of me a different way or from another point of view?  Have I made assumptions that were in error?  Is there more information I could get?

None of it will feel easy.  It won’t feel that comfortable.  It shouldn’t.  We are in a remarkable time.  How it feels won’t always be a good indicator of how we are doing.